Personally when I scene privately I perfer music light on lyrics or non-english lyrics.
Other songs tend to distract me.
For parites however, I think a mix of these with more goth / techo / freestyle& club mixes are good.

Enigma - I like them all. Also, Adiemus & Era both have a similar feel with no english lyrics. I think they are both all in Latin. Era has more on opera sound.

Delirium - My favorite CD by them is Karma.

Cirque du Soiel cds are good. It's really hit & miss from different albums.
Varekia is about the best and most of the music for it I like for BDSM.

Evanesence- Fallen CD: I am not much for hard rock / goth music. However, she has a great voice and the lyrics are good. It not just someone yelling thrashing around like so much of it. She does have quite an obsession with death. Some of you may recognize Bring me to life from the radio.

Madonna music, especially the more modern stuff. I like Ray of Light overall, best.

I love using sanskrit & yoga music for sessions. I think it could be used at a party too. Anything by Deva Premal is good. All her songs are ancient mantras.

These are my Favortie BDSM / Erotic Songs.
I think most of these are best for parites, rather than private play.

Phantom of the Opera
Stripped by Depche Mode, Black Celebration CD
She's so High Above
Euphoria "Firefly" by Delirium, Karma CD
6 Underground by Sneaker Pimps on Becoming X CD
Human Nature by Madonna on Human Nature CD
It Feels so Good by Sonique on Hear My Cry CD, Actually a lot of her music is good for BDSM parites.

 

LINKS TO OTHER MUSIC GUIDES:

SUBMISSIVE LOVING: Awesome music resource with BDSM music listing for every genre such as goth, new age, rock, classical and many more. It's probally the best one out there, much better than mine. All cd listed linked to Amazon so you can purchase them or hear music samples.

SANDMUTOPIAN GAURDIAN MAG: Issuse have info on BDSM music. I found some on my favorite BDSM songs above from these articles. This is no longer published, but back issues are availabe. I own all the issues of this and have found them an excellent resource for BDSM.

FETISH INFORMATION EXCHANGE: Music suggestions for everything from bondage to flogging.

FOX HAVEN: Another small music guide with Amazon links.